“Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.” TSM.

I wear heels bigger than your penis. TSM.

A year after graduation, my Frat Daddy became my Frat-tastic husband. After 3 years of marriage, we’re expecting our first legacy. Dreams do come true. TSM.

My sorority was founded before “sorority” was even a word. TSM.

I’m not a slampiece, I’m a take-home-to-meet-the-fam-piece. TSM.

None of my friends got pregnant in high school. TSM.

The only boys that can get below my Mason-Dixon Line are those who have pledged under it. TSM.

Resorting to crash diets and eating disorders to get thin. NS. Eating healthy and working out every day. TSM.

I don’t dye my hair or starve myself to stay thin. I don’ t look down upon lower tier sororities. I’m not getting my MRS degree but an MBA instead. I can make a fantastic sandwich, award winning cupcakes and unbutton an Oxford and khakis with one hand. TSM.

Okay geed, you may think I “bought” my friends but at least I don’t have to take photos of myself in the bathroom just so there’s pictures of me on Facebook. TSM.