Picture perfect patriot. TSM.

My parents told me to be more fiscally responsible, so I invested in an embroidery machine with monograming capabilities. TSM.

Making a drinking game out of the desperate phone calls and texts he’s sending you. TSTC.

The most important factor in filling out your March Madness brackets being whether or not the school has a chapter of your sorority. TSM.

Jackie Kennedy’s sister calling Taylor Swift out for sleeping with more men than songs on her albums. TSM.

My composites would look better if I could tilt. TSM.

Your signature cocktail being The Scarlet O’Hara. TSM.