As women, I think we get very used to apologizing for things that don’t need apologies. At least I find myself saying “sorry” for ridiculous things. Thanks for the reminder 🙂
I’ve heard if you’re really addicted to cheese you post the same story about it twice in one month. Or maybe that’s just if you can’t come up with new stories.
Also not only do I have firsthand experience of watching my rapist walk away free and living in fear and having to move, but I have law professors (you know, people that study law for a living and are 10x smarter than us) backing me up. This is not good. And supporting it makes things that much harder for rape victims. I was never trying to have a trauma olympics, I was trying to illustrate the extreme differences between not walking away when you have the choice and rape.
Read legal opinions here: http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/23449/
I was only trying to illustrate that there are two very different issues at hand there. Especially when it comes to rape and the consequences of trivialities it. Read this and try to listen instead of feeling like it’s your job to decide what’s good and bad without a facial or practical argument: http://nypost.com/2015/07/14/how-cuomos-yes-means-yes-law-harms-victims-too/
I agree, I said this isn’t rape but that its in the gray area between consent and yes. That’s not invalidating her experience, it’s just understanding that there’s a range and there are way more serious and criminal things than simply not saying no or yes.
She wasn’t talking about when she said no on this story. Not saying yes and doing it anyways without saying no is very different from no and she was trying to say otherwise. Stories are told for reasons and hers is trying to claim that not saying yes while also not saying no is rape and I’m sorry but it’s not. Saying no to sex counts as rape, I ALREADY AGREED, but that’s NOT what this story is about.
“I lacked the courage and the energy to argue, so I let him.”
this is not rape. if later she said no and he did anyways, then yes, I agree that’s rape. But the story she told us didn’t involve that. It involved her decision.
I realize it doesn’t require a fight but she made a decision. She could have left and didn’t. She valued keeping him over walking away and not having sex and that, while not verbal consent, is a decision SHE made, not him.
As someone who was actually raped and fought and screamed, this pisses me off. There is something between rape and consensual sex and this is it, but you could have left. You let your fear of him leaving you pressure you into doing something you didn’t want. That’s not completely his fault. While you never said yes, you also never stood up for yourself so you can’t pretend to be a victim. He was an inconsiderate dick, but my rapist was just that, a rapist. And it’s girls like you that want to claim you’re a victim that made it basically impossible to convict my actual rapist in court. I had to move to get away from him. I’m sexually scarred to the point that my serious boyfriend can’t take my clothes off of me without making me cry. You made a bad judgement call to stay and regret it. THOSE are two very black and white differences. I have to live with what he did to me, I didn’t have a choice. You, however, did.
this is missing that one person that thinks they’re going to be a famous rapper/singer/band and uploads obnoxious videos of themselves playing the guitar for 30 seconds
This actually really opened my eyes. I can admit when I’m wrong so I’m sorry, you’re right, there’s no one “perfect” way to live and we shouldn’t be judging each other when society’s already doing that enough.
College is about so much more than alcohol. Let’s be honest, this is the only time in your life you’re surrounded by academics that make a difference the world. For instance one of my professors is 30 something, from DC, and is the leading bitch on Chinese Nukes and I freaking get to learn from her. If you wanna be washed up and waste thousands of dollars for drunk nights a dull future, community college sounds more your speed. This will not be the only time you can drink, but this will be the only time you have such a huge opportunity. Party some, but by all means, don’t party only.
Try to only keep it to a few nights and don’t beat yourself up. It takes some time to figure out how to balance everything (which is a real skill for the real world) but you shouldn’t invest what is possibly your greatest opportunity in alcohol filled nights you won’t remember.
While there’s nothing wrong with partying, please be responsible… if you’re in high school reading this party it up now before you can actually get in legal trouble.
by pushing back the age they’re trying to reduce the amount of unnecessary procedures, which actually helps people.
Trump started a catastrophe. Being a star really shouldn’t become the new presidential criterion.
As women, I think we get very used to apologizing for things that don’t need apologies. At least I find myself saying “sorry” for ridiculous things. Thanks for the reminder 🙂
oh dang my bad. 4 months is fair play. sorry I have a good memory.
I’ve heard if you’re really addicted to cheese you post the same story about it twice in one month. Or maybe that’s just if you can’t come up with new stories.
Also not only do I have firsthand experience of watching my rapist walk away free and living in fear and having to move, but I have law professors (you know, people that study law for a living and are 10x smarter than us) backing me up. This is not good. And supporting it makes things that much harder for rape victims. I was never trying to have a trauma olympics, I was trying to illustrate the extreme differences between not walking away when you have the choice and rape.
Read legal opinions here: http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/23449/
*factual. wow, don’t type while eating pizza. it doesn’t work very well.
*trivializing
I was only trying to illustrate that there are two very different issues at hand there. Especially when it comes to rape and the consequences of trivialities it. Read this and try to listen instead of feeling like it’s your job to decide what’s good and bad without a facial or practical argument:
http://nypost.com/2015/07/14/how-cuomos-yes-means-yes-law-harms-victims-too/
I agree, I said this isn’t rape but that its in the gray area between consent and yes. That’s not invalidating her experience, it’s just understanding that there’s a range and there are way more serious and criminal things than simply not saying no or yes.
She wasn’t talking about when she said no on this story. Not saying yes and doing it anyways without saying no is very different from no and she was trying to say otherwise. Stories are told for reasons and hers is trying to claim that not saying yes while also not saying no is rape and I’m sorry but it’s not. Saying no to sex counts as rape, I ALREADY AGREED, but that’s NOT what this story is about.
“I lacked the courage and the energy to argue, so I let him.”
this is not rape. if later she said no and he did anyways, then yes, I agree that’s rape. But the story she told us didn’t involve that. It involved her decision.
I realize it doesn’t require a fight but she made a decision. She could have left and didn’t. She valued keeping him over walking away and not having sex and that, while not verbal consent, is a decision SHE made, not him.
As someone who was actually raped and fought and screamed, this pisses me off. There is something between rape and consensual sex and this is it, but you could have left. You let your fear of him leaving you pressure you into doing something you didn’t want. That’s not completely his fault. While you never said yes, you also never stood up for yourself so you can’t pretend to be a victim. He was an inconsiderate dick, but my rapist was just that, a rapist. And it’s girls like you that want to claim you’re a victim that made it basically impossible to convict my actual rapist in court. I had to move to get away from him. I’m sexually scarred to the point that my serious boyfriend can’t take my clothes off of me without making me cry. You made a bad judgement call to stay and regret it. THOSE are two very black and white differences. I have to live with what he did to me, I didn’t have a choice. You, however, did.
this is missing that one person that thinks they’re going to be a famous rapper/singer/band and uploads obnoxious videos of themselves playing the guitar for 30 seconds
This actually really opened my eyes. I can admit when I’m wrong so I’m sorry, you’re right, there’s no one “perfect” way to live and we shouldn’t be judging each other when society’s already doing that enough.
College is about so much more than alcohol. Let’s be honest, this is the only time in your life you’re surrounded by academics that make a difference the world. For instance one of my professors is 30 something, from DC, and is the leading bitch on Chinese Nukes and I freaking get to learn from her. If you wanna be washed up and waste thousands of dollars for drunk nights a dull future, community college sounds more your speed. This will not be the only time you can drink, but this will be the only time you have such a huge opportunity. Party some, but by all means, don’t party only.
Try to only keep it to a few nights and don’t beat yourself up. It takes some time to figure out how to balance everything (which is a real skill for the real world) but you shouldn’t invest what is possibly your greatest opportunity in alcohol filled nights you won’t remember.
While there’s nothing wrong with partying, please be responsible… if you’re in high school reading this party it up now before you can actually get in legal trouble.
If you want to pretend adults in college don’t have sex, my extremely conservative Christian College would love to have you.