Selective Panhellenic love. TSM.

Spending more money on your little than you ever have on a boyfriend. TSM.

“She had a cocktail in her hand and confetti in her hair.” TSM.

“You’re the friend I sin with.” TSTC.

The only snap story you really watch being your own. TSM.

The closest thing to a threesome he’ll ever get is being in a picture between you and your little. TSM.

Every guy in your favorite fraternity assuming you’re going to their formal before you’re even asked. TSM.

I need a white wine emoji almost as badly as I need a white wine. TSM.

I’ve never met a man I couldn’t find on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. TSM.