I’m fluent in passive aggression. TSM.

Having a little, an adopted little, and a god-little. TSM.

Tequila is worth the regrets. TSM.

Drunk enough to make wildly embarrassing decisions. Not drunk enough to forget them. TSM.

Blacking out is God’s way of saying, “Don’t worry about it.” TSM.

I just want him to text me so I can ignore him. TSM.

Actually, yeah, I do agree. I think I’m really pretty. TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.