“I’m not bitter, but I’m going to let him know his place.” TSM.

I’d rather people talk about me than be irrelevant. TSM.

Perusing Rowdy Gentleman to pick out your future shack shirts. TSM.

He wasn’t that cute at first, but then he said he had two tickets to the masters. TSM.

Your hair being higher than your standards. TSM.

The inexplicable excitement you feel when your dad says, “Let’s go shopping. I’m feeling generous.” TSM.

Doing his baking in exchange for his doing your homework. TSM.

For richer or for poorer, but hopefully richer. TSM.

Taking every single ounce of credit for your little’s upbringing when she is elected as chapter president. TSM.

Putting your standards chair on limited profile. TSM.

It doesn’t have calories if you’re drunk. TSM.

My sisters come to me for all their glitter needs. TSM.

Setting your alarm 15 minutes early, just to make sure you have enough time to go to Starbucks before class starts. TSM.

Getting drunk with alumnae is a rite of passage as the newest addition to the family. TSM.

Telling your parents you have a date, though you’re fully aware there will be no dinner involved. TSM.

Picking your formal date based on who will buy you the most drinks that night. TSM.

Using your sorority sister’s badges as your “Something Borrowed” to walk down the aisle. TSM.

Asking for donations to both your sorority’s philanthropy and his fraternity’s philanthropy as your wedding gifts. TSM.

The unspoken competition to have the largest sorority family. TSM.

Not needing to worry about the Plan B “weight limit.” TSM.