Having your hot gay bestie use his straight voice to make your ex jealous. TSM.

Spending more time on organizing, color-coding, and labeling your notes for finals than you spend studying them. TSM.

Barefoot Moscato understands you when your sisters don’t. TSM.

Dinner tonight is the salt on the rim of my 46oz margarita at happy hour. TSM.

Toned, Tan, and Tipsy. TSM.

The excitement that comes with the perfect outfit. TSM.

Getting pulled over constantly, but never getting a ticket. TSM.

Tricking your fratdaddy into giving you all his passwords. TSM.

When I travel I leave things at home on purpose so I have another excuse to go shopping. TSM.

Sneaking back into the sratcastle at 7am and pretending you were there the whole time. TSM.

I always support my sisters. That’s why I buy Tory. TSM.

I never fake a smile. I have endless reasons to be happy. TSM.

Describing having taken 5 shots as being “basically sober” for a function. TSM.

I would take my anger out on your face, but it looks like your genetics have put it through enough suffering already. TSM.

I study better with pink nails. TSM.

Tiffany & Co. or it’s a “no.” TSM.

I can talk about my sisters. You can’t. TSM.

He is NOT getting his clothes back. TSM.

I hate her. I don’t remember why, but I hate her. TSM.

You don’t know me? That’s odd. Well, by the end of the night you won’t be able to forget me. TSM.