No, gdi, I do not want to be a mini-van driving, soccer mom. I want to be an Escalade-ESV driving, football and cheer mom. TSM.

It’s only slutty when GDIs do it. TSM.

White girl wasted. TSM.

Facebook picture tags in the quadruple digits. TSM.

Getting praise for work I delegated to others. TSM.

He’s the slampiece. TSM.

I’m an elementary education major because I don’t want my crafting skills to go to waste. TSM.

I’m the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet. TSM.

When we say a girl is “not presentable” it means she’s ugly. TSM.

Setting the password to my oldest child’s name because I already have it picked out. TSM.

Just because I use abreves doesn’t mean my grammar isn’t immaculate. TSM.

“What should I say back to him?” TSM.

Laughing at whatever geed said good looks can’t get you through college. TSM.

A new fraternity is trying to charter on campus. I saw them at their recruitment tent… wearing cargo shorts. They’ll never make it. TSM.

Blair Waldorf’s motto: Never leave the house without a hairband. TSM.

June Cleaver from “Leave it to Beaver” vacuuming in pearls. TSM.

Being able to recognize which frat it is by looking at a picture of the bathroom. TSM.

Lilly dress, Jack Rogers, Yurman, and $5 foam croakies. TSM.

Doing a Jillian Michaels DVD while watching America’s Next Top Model. TSM.

Passing out in what I wore to formal… 3 inch heels and all. TSM.