That one girl who always disappears at parties. TSM.

Jesus drank wine, so I do too. TSM.

Cleaning last night’s frat sludge off the shoes you’re wearing to today’s job interview. TSM.

Katy Perry wearing four different outfits in ten minutes during the Super Bowl. TSM.

Not realizing you’ve already hooked up with the cute guy in your class until the professor calls his name while taking attendance. TSM.

I’m a bitch. You’ll get used to it. TSM.

“They’re real.” TSM.

Referring to the standards chair as “the dictator.” TSM.

I want a guy who can take charge in the boardroom and the bedroom. TSM.

Crying when you think of graduating and not being two minutes from every single on of your best friends. TSM.

So sick of people who aren’t Beyoncé. TSM.

Rachel getting to keep her monogram when she marries Ross. TSM.

Knowing the best window of time to post an Instagram picture to get the optimal amount of likes. TSM.

A fraternity moving an event, simply because you can’t make it. TSM.

People being able to guess which sorority you’re in because “you just have this thing about you.” TSM.

“If you wouldn’t say it to her big, you probably shouldn’t say it at all.” TSM.

Withholding Snapchat story views. TSM.

I’m not a rule-breaker. I do shit e-board hasn’t even imagined up yet. TSM.

Speaking in front of your entire chapter with a painfully obvious hickey from the previous night’s conquest. TSTC.

I like my men how I like my yogurt: white, rich, and Greek. TSM.