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How to Lose a Guy in 10 Ways

Bruising His Ego

The greatest trick that mankind has ever played (and continues to play) on itself is that girls are the more sensitive gender. BS. The biggest, most macho, d-bags I’ve ever met in my life are fucking crybabies when their feelings get hurt. Ok, so they don’t actually cry, but they put on extraordinary displays of idiocy by yelling at anyone who can hear them, starting fights just to remind themselves they could kill that 130 pound kid if they wanted to, or worse, breaking shit which normally results in the sustenance of an unnecessary injury that you will undoubtedly have to patch up later. My girlfriends and I have no problem poking fun at each other with that slight undertone of serious. “Omg, hot piece is such an attention whore. HAHAHA, the world doesn’t revolve around you.” “Seriously, Alyssa, I don’t know why you don’t take your ADD meds on the weekends. LOLOLOLOL you’re super annoying right now, I could kill you.” “Lalala Jenny, did you really just say ‘chaferone’ instead of ‘chaperone.’ You’re so dumb!” And we laugh, and all is well. If you do that to a guy, they can NOT handle it, especially coming from a girl. It’s emasculating I guess, and nothing hurts worse than a bruised ego. Every guy is different, but know where the line is, and don’t cross it. You might think you’re being funny, but you come across like a raging bitch if you’re constantly putting him down. And while I agree, you should have him wrapped around your finger in your own, subtle way, that he doesn’t actually know is occurring, if he’s straight-up pussy-whipped because you’re so controlling and giving him actual orders, or insulting him/his friends/or ESPECIALLY his fraternity, he’ll eventually get sick of your shit, and if he doesn’t the people who care about him will. It’s ok to be high-maintenance, just don’t treat him badly to get what you want, and don’t do things to compromise his masculinity. It looks bad for both of you.

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Veronica Ruckh

Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at [email protected]

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