Aspiring to become Elle Woods. TSM.

I’m choosing Edward because Jacob wears jorts. TSM.

I don’t dye my hair or starve myself to stay thin. I don’ t look down upon lower tier sororities. I’m not getting my MRS degree but an MBA instead. I can make a fantastic sandwich, award winning cupcakes and unbutton an Oxford and khakis with one hand. TSM.

Never had my belly button pierced. TSM.

I spent more time judging people’s outfits at Christmas mass than I did praying. TSM.

If you’re shorter than me, don’t talk to me. TSM.

Watching HGTV with my sorority sisters and discussing how we could obvi decorate so much better than the trained professionals on the shows. Totes. TSM.

No GDI, my frat daddy and I’s pure bread lab is NOT wearing a “cute flower collar”… her Lilly Pulitzer collar costs more than your fake handbag. TSM.

I’m not your slampiece, you’re my fratslam. TSM.