I’m invited to my ex-boyfriend’s formal. He isn’t. TSM.

Setting aside $500 in your semester budget for your little. TSM.

Looking at your manager blankly when she condescendingly asks “What’s more important: your job or your sorority?” TSTC.

Partying hard enough to be sent to standards, but being intimidating enough never to be sent. TSM.

Being able to fall asleep to sirens and frat parties as if they were lullabies. TSM.

Leaving room in your planner every week for an inevitable standards meeting. TSM.

Being sent home by the standards chair, only to be brought back by the social chair. TSM.

Laughing when people say that they can’t taste the difference between diet and regular. TSM.

Taking your vitamins with wine. TSM.