“Congrats on winning the election! I’ll see you at your first meeting.” -You, to your new standards chair. TSM.

The most important thing in a relationship is trust. After sex, and hygiene, and earning potential. TSM.

I mean, I’m never not looking for a formal dress. TSM.

Having a hookup set up before you even step foot on campus after winter break. TSM.

They call me “the little sparkly one.” TSM.

I put the “bar” in Barbie. TSM.

You can’t regret what you don’t remember. TSM.

Stopping to get Starbucks on your walk of shame. TSTC.

Drinking enough to forget how painful your heels are. TSM.