I need a white wine emoji almost as badly as I need a white wine. TSM.

Chasing with a blow job with a Diet Coke. TSM.

Referring to your big as if she’s a survival guide…because she kind of is. TSM.

Handling an ugly Snapchat more delicately than a sext. TSM.

Good hair days are good days in general. TSM.

My chapter gets attention from guys in real life. We don’t need to join a “Tumblr war.” TSM.

Letters making Zac Efron look even better. TSM.

Having a costume section in your closet. TSM.

“Can you send me that picture?” TSM.

If you have to ask if it’s too early to drink, you’re an amateur and we can’t be friends. TSM.