Not having any appropriate pajamas to pack for a weekend home, since they’re all shacker shirts. TSM.

Swapportunity: the opportunity to swap out dinner for alcohol. Is that not how it works? TSM.

He’s not in my heart, and he’s not in my head, but he’s hot, so I’ll let him in elsewhere. TSM.

I don’t like him. I like his fraternity. TSM.

If you’re dropped off in a Lexus, it doesn’t count as a walk of shame. TSM.

Being personally victimized by the standards chair. TSM.

Reserving a room in the library during cooler season so you’ll get study hours for coolering. TSM.

Becoming besties with your little’s mom via text before your little even knows who you are. TSM.

When choosing a date for a function, you need to consider whether he’ll look good in pictures and if he has a good personality…in that order. TSM.