Veronica (@VeronicaRuckh) is the Director of Total Sorority Move for Grandex, Inc. After having spent her undergraduate years drinking $4 double LITs on a patio and drunk texting away potential suitors, she managed to graduate with an impressive GPA and an unimpressive engagement ring -- so unimpressive, in fact, some might say it's not there at all. Veronica has since been fulfilling her duties as "America's big," a title she gave to herself with the help of her giant ego. She has recently switched from vodka to wine on weekdays. Email her at veronica@grandex.co
I’m seriously afraid it will never end and our grandchildren will all think we were the ignorant intolerant people many of us think our grandparents are.
Nooo they’re not undoable. They’re just not ONLY doable. Also dateable. I would make out with zac efron til the end of time but he doesn’t make my ovaries melt.
Hmmm. We had AZD at my school and everyone wrote it out that way! I’ve seen it written both ways in shorthand, much like you’ll see AOPi and AOII written out in shorthand.
Don’t think TSM spread any lies. We reported about the accusation and reported ADPi’s take. Tried to get a police report, but couldn’t. If it was accessible, Nationals could have provided it for us.
So you’re saying you can nonverbally say yes, but you can’t nonverbally say no? If a nonverbal yes is kissing him back, touching him, undressing him, etc…then wouldn’t just laying there, avoiding eye contact be a nonverbal no?
I will not be told this was “regret,” because I didn’t choose to do it from the beginning.
To be fair, that wasn’t necessarily her or her sorority. It was just going on at unnamed Hofstra sororities, per Jezebel’s source. The only confirmed thing that happened is that she had her pledges undergo some physical and verbal hazing.
Hi. I agree it’s not rape and didn’t try to associate it with rape. BUT. The phrase “I didn’t want to have sex with him, but I still did” associates it with rape on its own. My whole point was that there ISN’T an actual word for THIS experience, and women who’ve had it don’t want to call it any of those things, but we’re not even acknowledging that this type of thing happens. We can’t discuss the solution until we acknowledge that there is a problem. And I do think it’s a situation of society is to blame, not the individuals.
No ones blaming Matt here. That’s the point. I’m not even saying, in my case, it was a fear thing. I do not blame him at all. And that’s the whole point. Not that it was a gray area. This IS different from rape. But women find themselves in situations where they have sex when they don’t want to. And maybe it’s because they’re being a people pleaser or don’t wand to be called a prude or whatever. The point is, sometimes we ALL do things we don’t want to do, it’s just weird when it happens with sex. THIS experience is hardly spoken about.
I agree! And I considered having this piece include that, but I think it was just too much to force into one column. I might write another at some point about playing hard to get and the double standard, the feeling we’re not allowed to want it outright, kind of leads to guys not believing you when you say no.
I’m sorry to hear that, and I definitely do think it’s an issue. You’re not alone. I’d really venture to say that most women have an experience like this. Maybe different details. But you didn’t say no. And you’re not mad at the guy, and don’t want him to get in trouble. But it left you feeling uncomfortable. I think starting a dialogue is the first step, but I don’t have any idea what the possible solution is.
Surely she was really nervous. I would have been.
I’m seriously afraid it will never end and our grandchildren will all think we were the ignorant intolerant people many of us think our grandparents are.
Maybe the second worst. No one likes the Gellars.
Nooo they’re not undoable. They’re just not ONLY doable. Also dateable. I would make out with zac efron til the end of time but he doesn’t make my ovaries melt.
Nerd.
But they’re not adult women. They haven’t even had their first periods. It’s inappropriate for their age, not their gender.
You spelled future divorcées wrong.
Disagree. If that were true no one would ever be in a relationship. They fall for the person they THINK likes them.
Haha, it’s fine.
Hmmm. We had AZD at my school and everyone wrote it out that way! I’ve seen it written both ways in shorthand, much like you’ll see AOPi and AOII written out in shorthand.
None on file. Was unable to find Lawless for comment and ADPi says they had no part in it.
Don’t think TSM spread any lies. We reported about the accusation and reported ADPi’s take. Tried to get a police report, but couldn’t. If it was accessible, Nationals could have provided it for us.
Crazy, huh?
So you’re saying you can nonverbally say yes, but you can’t nonverbally say no? If a nonverbal yes is kissing him back, touching him, undressing him, etc…then wouldn’t just laying there, avoiding eye contact be a nonverbal no?
I will not be told this was “regret,” because I didn’t choose to do it from the beginning.
To be fair, that wasn’t necessarily her or her sorority. It was just going on at unnamed Hofstra sororities, per Jezebel’s source. The only confirmed thing that happened is that she had her pledges undergo some physical and verbal hazing.
Hi. I agree it’s not rape and didn’t try to associate it with rape. BUT. The phrase “I didn’t want to have sex with him, but I still did” associates it with rape on its own. My whole point was that there ISN’T an actual word for THIS experience, and women who’ve had it don’t want to call it any of those things, but we’re not even acknowledging that this type of thing happens. We can’t discuss the solution until we acknowledge that there is a problem. And I do think it’s a situation of society is to blame, not the individuals.
No ones blaming Matt here. That’s the point. I’m not even saying, in my case, it was a fear thing. I do not blame him at all. And that’s the whole point. Not that it was a gray area. This IS different from rape. But women find themselves in situations where they have sex when they don’t want to. And maybe it’s because they’re being a people pleaser or don’t wand to be called a prude or whatever. The point is, sometimes we ALL do things we don’t want to do, it’s just weird when it happens with sex. THIS experience is hardly spoken about.
I agree! And I considered having this piece include that, but I think it was just too much to force into one column. I might write another at some point about playing hard to get and the double standard, the feeling we’re not allowed to want it outright, kind of leads to guys not believing you when you say no.
I’m sorry to hear that, and I definitely do think it’s an issue. You’re not alone. I’d really venture to say that most women have an experience like this. Maybe different details. But you didn’t say no. And you’re not mad at the guy, and don’t want him to get in trouble. But it left you feeling uncomfortable. I think starting a dialogue is the first step, but I don’t have any idea what the possible solution is.
Hahah, I didn’t notice that! That’s funny.