Maybe if Taylor Swift went to college she could’ve found herself a respectable fratdaddy instead of getting her heart broken by all of those GDIs. TSM.

McDonald’s in Walmart, GDI. Starbucks in Target, TSM.

I shall call her Little and she shall be mine and she shall be my Little. TSM.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, make him rich and make him tall. TSM.

“What should I say back to him?” TSM.

Only having your ears pierced. TSM.

“Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.” TSM.

My sorority was founded before “sorority” was even a word. TSM.

None of my friends got pregnant in high school. TSM.

The only boys that can get below my Mason-Dixon Line are those who have pledged under it. TSM.