Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another three to five business days. TSM.

Never having to be asked if you have hot friends. TSM.

“There’s a cop right there. Act normal.” TSM.

“My house smells like Fireball and regret.” TSTC.

*Wakes up*
*Deletes Snapchat story* TSM.

Rescheduling your standards meeting because you’re hungover. TSM.

I haven’t slept with anyone all summer. I’m basically a virgin. TSM.

If your Insta doesn’t make everyone jealous, what’s the point? TSM.

“Seriously, though.” TSM.

The unspoken understanding that social chair is the most important officer in the house. TSM.