Hi. We’ve met seven times, but I’ve never seen you sober. TSM.

Writing down the pregame into your planner. TSM.

Stalking yourself on Insta after someone follows you just to see what they see. TSM.

Having a separate group chat for your pledge class, and the pledge class degenerates. TSM.

Making faces at your friends on exec, because you know they can’t respond properly and you want to see them squirm. TSTC.

The Snapchat story lasted longer than the “relationship.” TSM.

It’s not blonde enough! TSM.

Pregaming your breakup. TSM.

Drinking like a freshman to forget you’re a freshman. TSM.

Sending photos to your group text for Instagram caption suggestions. TSM.