Hating that the freshmen girls are younger than you. TSM.

“I meannnnnnnnnnnn…” TSM.

Recruitment: survival of the thinnest. TSM.

Asking a guy what his major is to decide whether he’s your next boyfriend or your new hookup. TSM.

My heart doesn’t care about him. My mind is mad at him. My body just wants to do him. TSM.

I don’t work out to stay healthy. I work out so I look good naked. TSM.

Liking him less when he’s wasted, but more when you’re wasted. TSM.

It’s only slutty if he’s ugly. TSM.

Using the Adderall and Starbucks diet to simultaneously prepare for finals and bikini season. TSM.

A guy going from bangable to dateable in the swipe of a black card. TSM.