Laughing when people say that they can’t taste the difference between diet and regular. TSM.

Double-fisting Starbucks and a Diet Coke. TSM.

Having a slampiece, not being one. TSM.

I have mixed drinks about feelings. TSM.

The girl you babysit calling your sorority “that wine-drinking club you’re in.” TSM.

My little and I have matching everything, even prescriptions! TSM.

You can absolutely turn a ho into a housewife. I’ve seen it countless times. TSM.

“I’m over it,” either meaning “I’m not even a little bit over it” or “You’re dead to me” with no in between. TSM.

Daddy’s first response being “What do you need?” when you call him. TSM.

Chasing your Addy down with Starbucks. TSM.