Spring break plans? Get hella turnt and somewhat burnt. TSM.

“Do you have any hot friends?”
“All my friends are hot.” TSM.

Remembering the night by what you wore, not what you did. TSM.

Last one to get ready. First one to get drunk. TSM.

Sometimes, I wonder how all those drunk girls I’ve bonded with in bathrooms are doing. TSM.

“Florals? For Bid Day? Groundbreaking.” TSM.

“I want to add his letter to my monogram.” -Ella Fitzgerald. TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.

Having the body of a trophy wife and the brains of a surgeon. TSM.

“It ain’t my fault when I walk and jaws drop.” -Miranda Lambert. TSM.