The “is everyone alive?” group text every Saturday morning. TSM.

All I need to get through today is a little tequila and a whole ‘lotta Jesus. TSM.

Drunk enough to make wildly embarrassing decisions. Not drunk enough to forget them. TSM.

Actually, yeah, I do agree. I think I’m really pretty. TSM.

The amount of glitter in my bed would make you think I’d fucked the tooth fairy. TSM.

I wish I could just monogram my boyfriend so everyone would know he was mine. TSM.

Caring more about what award you win at formal than who you bring to it. TSM.

I’m really good at making bad decisions. TSM.

Drunk texting on the Greek keyboard. TSM.

She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten. TSM.