Screaming “that’s my mom” as your big dances on the bar. TSM.

Using a cute phone case all week, but switching to LifeProof on the weekends. TSM.

Taking “bitch” as a compliment. TSM.

Calling your alumnae advisor “The Godmother.” TSM.

Being overcome with a sense of uneasiness when you’re the one who has her shit together. TSM.

“Feel my legs. I just shaved.” TSM.

You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now. TSM.

Leaving a note reading “I’m back” in place of a stolen composite. TSM.

This water bottle is no doubt filled with vodka, so no, you can’t have any. TSM.

If you got 8 AM classes I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but they don’t start ’til 1. TSM.