Greek mythology: “There are no rivalries between sororities.” TSTC.

She kissed my boyfriend once, so I hate her chapter. TSM.

I’ll drink responsibly when there’s a brand of vodka called “Responsibly.” TSM.

A mixer with us would be good for their reputation. TSM.

Needing a second 21st birthday because you don’t remember the first one. TSM.

Being more stressed out about a meeting with standards than an exam. TSM.

Procrastinating homework with formal planning, because productivity is relative. TSM.

Pregaming asking him to formal. TSM.

Fan girling over your little on every form of social media. TSM.

Sexting the same exact lines to two different boys, because to hell with creativity. TSM.