Getting the entire bar to sing “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” to your boyfriend when he gets home from Afghanistan. TSM.

Where are my keys? Phone? Dignity? Whatever, best two out of three. TSM.

Being more prepared for spring break than you are for midterms. TSM.

Sewing your boyfriend’s pants button back on after you aggressively rip it off. TSM.

“That would be so cute with letters on it.” TSM.

Getting more excited about the craft than you are for the event you’re crafting for. TSM.

I like my coffee as ice cold as my heart. TSM.

As I walk through the valley in the shadow of the frat house, I will fear no standards, for my vodka and whiskey they comfort me. TSM.

Braving the elements to get wine. TSM.

Sorry I made you look fat for the sake of myself look skinny with my skinny app. TSM.