He gives me the douchebumps. TSM.

Chasing tequila with more tequila. TSM.

Now accepting applications for a formal date. GDIs need not apply. TSM.

Pulling an all-nighter to finish a cooler, but refusing to pull one to finish studying. TSM.

“The longest relationship I’ve been in is with this bottle of wine.” TSM.

“I still need my drunken Saturday nights at Rock’N Sushi, okay?” -Helen Harris. TSM.

Double-fisting Starbucks and a Diet Coke. TSM.

Fraternity bathrooms being your preferred location for emergency girl talk. TSM.

Stocking up on craft supplies for a snow storm. TSM.