Every time I walk into Michael’s I wonder why they haven’t started selling coolers yet. TSM.

College is for finding my bridesmaids. Med school is for finding my husband. TSM.

That feeling of relief when you go from 6-inch heels to Sperrys. TSM.

I have a constant internal battle about whether to be classy or give zero fucks. TSM.

“Hi. I’m her Big.” TSM.

“What’s his name?” always comes after “which fraternity is he in?” TSM.

I want to aggressively take action against anyone who wears Sketchers. TSM.

Wearing letters in the airport in case you meet your future husband. TSM.

“Boo, you whore” is an acceptable response to anything. TSM.

Never being able to sing the original lyrics to a song after replacing them with lyrics for your sorority. TSM.