Dude…being in charge of your own life can be a little scary for some of us. Some of us are still making that transition to being independent. Let us celebrate the little things.
TSM is the only website I can find that keeps me laughing while also hitting the nail on the head about what the majority of us are thinking. Thank you for keeping it real and speaking the truth, instead of being way too politically correct like almost every other website aimed 18-20 something women. Keep it up plz 🙂
No one who has commented here has said that males don’t have social, political, or economic issues facing them. And given your obvious dislike of feminism, I am not surprised you aren’t aware that modern feminist theory makes a point of showcasing how males and females are equally negatively impacted by the patriarchy.
However, given your arguments, I can see that nothing I write here is going to change your opinion on the issue. So I restate my original comment on this post:
On behalf of feminists everywhere, I am deeply sorry that you have only been exposed to women who don’t believe feminism is an intersectional theory, and use the terms “feminism” or “feminist” as a guise for blatant hatred of the opposite sex.
The word feminism implies pushing an agenda to specifically advance women, not equality for people. Men have disadvantages in the world as well (yes, it’s true. No group is free from having shit to deal with), and feminism does not acknowledge these. You may call yourself a feminist who cares about men’s issues as well and you may argue that feminism encompasses men’s issue, however there is already a word for advancing men’s issues (masculinism). Both ideologies advocate for one sex over the other.
In reference to the concept of equity, the definition I am referring to is the one centered around having presence in the world. Feminism hopes to attain his tbrough the demonization of men (see: title ix, feminist blogs on “mansplaining,” etc.).
I’m going to list some definitions before I start.
-Egalitarianism: “a social philosophy advocating the removal of inequalities among people”
-Feminism: “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of people”
-Equity: “the quality of being fair, impartial, or just”
So now that we have those straight, I’d like to note how similar the definitions of egalitarianism and feminism are. Given that the two theories are nearly identical, I’m led to wonder how someone could say that egalitarianism doesn’t encompass the concept of equity as much as feminism does. I’m also led to wonder how someone could consider themselves egalitarian, but not a feminist, and vice versa.
Love it, love it, love it! I’m a sorority alumnus who stumbled upon upon your site and I just wanted you to know that you are spot on. To echo azalphadelta below, I was fortunate to have been raised around strong Southern women. There was never any idea that there was anything I couldn’t do because I was a girl. Climbing trees in a Sunday dress, well, that was discouraged, but pretty much anything else was fair game. And this was “back in the day”.
What you have hit upon are the echos of what my generation was hearing loud and clear. There was a hyper emphasis on being outstanding at everything because we were women – we can do anything. And we were expected to. Hold down a grueling professional career; be the greatest, most involved, “best friend” mom ever; volunteer in the community; entertain in your always sparkling clean home; be a perfectly groomed, in shape and enthusiastic lover to your partner. I am woman – hear me roar!
Hear me groan more was more like it. I also saw a world where to be feminine was considered to be behaving in a weak and subservient manner. Where nurturing women who chose to stay home and raise their children were viewed, at best, as second class citizens who couldn’t cut it out in “the real world” and at the worst as some sort of gender traitors. Where other women judged you upon your response to the words, “and what do you do”? Where everyone was over-worked, over-scheduled, over-tired and too afraid to admit it.
We shouldn’t tell little girls that they must be the proper little princess in the pink dress, but neither should we be telling them that to be a proper girl that they have to out boy the boys. Boys are not the standard to which their value as girls should be measured. That’s not equality – it’s insecurity.
So Veronica, you just keep on doing what you’re doing. Follow the path that works for you and never let anyone make you feel bad for not changing your own oil.
I didn’t read the article, but feminism is a cancer on society. Egalitarianism is true equality. Feminism wants “equity” which is a nice way of saying “men have been huge dickheads for like ever and we want our place in the world right now so fuck all you men who may actually be decent humans that worked to get where you are because the women are coming to take control.”
This topic has bothered me for ages….I want a world where femininity is respected as much as masculinity, and where anyone can choose aspects of either or neither to embody. But I can kind of understand the focus on feminism trying to open historically male things to women….because for the most part, those things included owning property and being able to have jobs and being considered a person…
And I would argue that having one Disney character who says maybe not being girly is cool isn’t really a bad thing, considering the actual princess line is very feminine, and for every girl who feels like being feminine isn’t cool anymore, there’s another who feels left out because they don’t enjoy traditional femininity and don’t fit in with their peers.
On the other hand, we feminists, and everyone really, could do with learning how to build one thing up without saying another is lesser.
So let me start this off by saying that I typically love the articles Veronica writes. But I also want to apologize, to both the author and everyone that has commented so far, on behalf of feminists everywhere. I’m sorry that this is the impression you’ve gotten from modern feminism.
I don’t deny that there are people who think that feminism is all about saying “f**k it” to feminity, there definitely are those people. But I’d go as far as to say that they’re not actually feminists; they’re just close-minded, judgmental people who like to use feminism as an excuse to put others down.
The truth is that feminism, regardless of the era, is about people being able to shape their life into whatever form is going to make them happiest regardless of gender, sex, race, religion, or any other arbitrary classification. And if that means living in an apartment that is 100% pink and glittery (which, honestly sounds awesome), and just generally being a girly-girl, then people should be able to do that without judgment.
While that’s true, they do not seem to be Veronica’s target audience. But, you see, she is defending traditional femininity by saying it is equal to not less than traditionally masculine, so she is reaching those boys wanting to dress like girls because she is defending it as a whole. “Pink” is not less than “Blue,” and I think her personal anecdote is a great way of capturing it.
This article is missing a HUGE point– in order for feminism to truly succeed, we need to be teaching kids they can be anything. While that might include girls acting like boys, it HAS to also include boys acting like girls. Otherwise yeah it’s still women trying to fit into categories created by men.
My top layer is Texas toast. Bottom layer is tortilla.
I relate to this on a spiritual level. Pretty sure my bottom layer is one of those weight-watchers, super thin sad tortillas, but still.
Dude…being in charge of your own life can be a little scary for some of us. Some of us are still making that transition to being independent. Let us celebrate the little things.
TSM is the only website I can find that keeps me laughing while also hitting the nail on the head about what the majority of us are thinking. Thank you for keeping it real and speaking the truth, instead of being way too politically correct like almost every other website aimed 18-20 something women. Keep it up plz 🙂
Seriously love your satire and I hate the fact that people think they deserve apologies because they don’t get it.
Nice story. Thanks for sharing.
No one who has commented here has said that males don’t have social, political, or economic issues facing them. And given your obvious dislike of feminism, I am not surprised you aren’t aware that modern feminist theory makes a point of showcasing how males and females are equally negatively impacted by the patriarchy.
However, given your arguments, I can see that nothing I write here is going to change your opinion on the issue. So I restate my original comment on this post:
On behalf of feminists everywhere, I am deeply sorry that you have only been exposed to women who don’t believe feminism is an intersectional theory, and use the terms “feminism” or “feminist” as a guise for blatant hatred of the opposite sex.
The word feminism implies pushing an agenda to specifically advance women, not equality for people. Men have disadvantages in the world as well (yes, it’s true. No group is free from having shit to deal with), and feminism does not acknowledge these. You may call yourself a feminist who cares about men’s issues as well and you may argue that feminism encompasses men’s issue, however there is already a word for advancing men’s issues (masculinism). Both ideologies advocate for one sex over the other.
In reference to the concept of equity, the definition I am referring to is the one centered around having presence in the world. Feminism hopes to attain his tbrough the demonization of men (see: title ix, feminist blogs on “mansplaining,” etc.).
I’m living for this post rn
I’m going to list some definitions before I start.
-Egalitarianism: “a social philosophy advocating the removal of inequalities among people”
-Feminism: “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of people”
-Equity: “the quality of being fair, impartial, or just”
So now that we have those straight, I’d like to note how similar the definitions of egalitarianism and feminism are. Given that the two theories are nearly identical, I’m led to wonder how someone could say that egalitarianism doesn’t encompass the concept of equity as much as feminism does. I’m also led to wonder how someone could consider themselves egalitarian, but not a feminist, and vice versa.
Love it, love it, love it! I’m a sorority alumnus who stumbled upon upon your site and I just wanted you to know that you are spot on. To echo azalphadelta below, I was fortunate to have been raised around strong Southern women. There was never any idea that there was anything I couldn’t do because I was a girl. Climbing trees in a Sunday dress, well, that was discouraged, but pretty much anything else was fair game. And this was “back in the day”.
What you have hit upon are the echos of what my generation was hearing loud and clear. There was a hyper emphasis on being outstanding at everything because we were women – we can do anything. And we were expected to. Hold down a grueling professional career; be the greatest, most involved, “best friend” mom ever; volunteer in the community; entertain in your always sparkling clean home; be a perfectly groomed, in shape and enthusiastic lover to your partner. I am woman – hear me roar!
Hear me groan more was more like it. I also saw a world where to be feminine was considered to be behaving in a weak and subservient manner. Where nurturing women who chose to stay home and raise their children were viewed, at best, as second class citizens who couldn’t cut it out in “the real world” and at the worst as some sort of gender traitors. Where other women judged you upon your response to the words, “and what do you do”? Where everyone was over-worked, over-scheduled, over-tired and too afraid to admit it.
We shouldn’t tell little girls that they must be the proper little princess in the pink dress, but neither should we be telling them that to be a proper girl that they have to out boy the boys. Boys are not the standard to which their value as girls should be measured. That’s not equality – it’s insecurity.
So Veronica, you just keep on doing what you’re doing. Follow the path that works for you and never let anyone make you feel bad for not changing your own oil.
I don’t think it would hurt to read the actual article before commenting…
I didn’t read the article, but feminism is a cancer on society. Egalitarianism is true equality. Feminism wants “equity” which is a nice way of saying “men have been huge dickheads for like ever and we want our place in the world right now so fuck all you men who may actually be decent humans that worked to get where you are because the women are coming to take control.”
I defy one of you to debate me.
i just hope that this gets put in an anthology one day
Way to represent the Greek system & women in general. Whatever your letters are, I would never call you a sister.
This topic has bothered me for ages….I want a world where femininity is respected as much as masculinity, and where anyone can choose aspects of either or neither to embody. But I can kind of understand the focus on feminism trying to open historically male things to women….because for the most part, those things included owning property and being able to have jobs and being considered a person…
And I would argue that having one Disney character who says maybe not being girly is cool isn’t really a bad thing, considering the actual princess line is very feminine, and for every girl who feels like being feminine isn’t cool anymore, there’s another who feels left out because they don’t enjoy traditional femininity and don’t fit in with their peers.
On the other hand, we feminists, and everyone really, could do with learning how to build one thing up without saying another is lesser.
Oh god another article from this piece of trash. Do you wanna talk about promoting rape again too just for the cherry on top?
So let me start this off by saying that I typically love the articles Veronica writes. But I also want to apologize, to both the author and everyone that has commented so far, on behalf of feminists everywhere. I’m sorry that this is the impression you’ve gotten from modern feminism.
I don’t deny that there are people who think that feminism is all about saying “f**k it” to feminity, there definitely are those people. But I’d go as far as to say that they’re not actually feminists; they’re just close-minded, judgmental people who like to use feminism as an excuse to put others down.
The truth is that feminism, regardless of the era, is about people being able to shape their life into whatever form is going to make them happiest regardless of gender, sex, race, religion, or any other arbitrary classification. And if that means living in an apartment that is 100% pink and glittery (which, honestly sounds awesome), and just generally being a girly-girl, then people should be able to do that without judgment.
While that’s true, they do not seem to be Veronica’s target audience. But, you see, she is defending traditional femininity by saying it is equal to not less than traditionally masculine, so she is reaching those boys wanting to dress like girls because she is defending it as a whole. “Pink” is not less than “Blue,” and I think her personal anecdote is a great way of capturing it.
This article is missing a HUGE point– in order for feminism to truly succeed, we need to be teaching kids they can be anything. While that might include girls acting like boys, it HAS to also include boys acting like girls. Otherwise yeah it’s still women trying to fit into categories created by men.