If my voice is pitched higher than usual that means I am only pretending to be nice. TSM.

Today, I found out my next door neighbor was in my sorority when she was in college. Now, when I go to babysit her kids, I use our secret knock. TSM.

Crafternoons. TSM.

Bloody Marys at the Club. TSM.

City girl, country soul. TSM.

Drunk text translator. TSM.

Being a diva. TSM.

Sarcasm allows me to seem sweet when I’m really not. TSM.

Having way less drama than the TFM wall. We’ve obviously mastered the art of pretending to get along. TSM.

Matching my norts and oversized t-shirt. Not like you can see my norts though. TSM.

Deleting GDIs from high school on Facebook that you forgot about on their birthday. TSM.

New abbrevs spreading through the house like wildfire. TSM.

None of my high school besties are GDIs. TSM.

Looking for recruitment clothes. TPM. Already having the perfect outfit before it reaches the listserv. TSM.

Making a quilt with all the shacking t-shirts I’ve collected this year. TSM.

If we have less than 100 mutual friends on Facebook, you’re probably a GDI. TSM.

And this is why you won’t be my maid of honor. TSM.

We had to send the help out to buy more hangers. There wasn’t enough when I moved back home for the summer. TSM.

Not watching the “Big Bliss” episodes of Say Yes to the Dress. TSM.

Automatically thinking about hair bows and pedicures when I hear someone say “bows and toes.” TSM.