Life’s problems are like bottles of wine. It’s best if you finish what’s open before starting something new. TSM.

The only reason I’ll ever send someone to standards is if they wear pajama pants in public. TSM.

“Oh my God, you look EXACTLY like your big.” TSM.

Getting offended when someone says “you don’t seem like the sorority type.” TSM.

Pregaming sober monitoring. TSM.

Planning friend requests in your agenda, because timing is everything. TSM.

Beer bonging wine. TSM.

He’s not that cute, but his fraternity brings him up, like, two points. TSM.

We accept the hangovers we think we deserve. TSM.

Most likely to live in the Barbie mansion. TSM.