“Oh my God, he liked my status! Does he know my ring size?” TSM.

Never trust a guy who doesn’t like beer. TSM.

If you’re dropped off in a Lexus, it doesn’t count as a walk of shame. TSM.

“Seriously, what is my life?” TSM.

Becoming besties with your little’s mom via text before your little even knows who you are. TSM.

Knowing a fraternity house better than the pledges do. TSM.

Who needs a therapist when you have a big? TSM.

When choosing a date for a function, you need to consider whether he’ll look good in pictures and if he has a good personality…in that order. TSM.

Family carpools to standards meetings. TSM.