I’m not a slampiece, I’m a take-home-to-meet-the-fam-piece. TSM.

I’m not a gold digger. I just have standards when it comes to a man’s finances. TSM.

I refuse to marry a GDI because he will never be able to have enough groomsmen to match my number of bridesmaids. TSM.

Shacking at a frat house and sending a mass text to your sorority sisters to see who else is there so you can walk home together. TSM.

Aspiring to become Elle Woods. TSM.

Resorting to crash diets and eating disorders to get thin. NS. Eating healthy and working out every day. TSM.

Just call me Blackout Barbie. TSM.

I don’t have to wear slutty outfits to get a fratdaddy’s attention. I’m a blonde. TSM.

I was drunk and he was wearing Brooks Brothers… TSM.