Am I even pretty enough to be her big? TSM.

“I know what you did last night,” a horror story. TSM.

Planning Instagram captions a week in advance. TSM.

Drinking wine because it’s classier than beer, and because, hello, it has a higher concentration of alcohol. TSM.

Being the reason Michael’s employees have to stay late. TSM.

Having to go back to a fraternity the next morning to retrieve your wallet, keys, phone, and bag. TSM. Sending a new member to do it for you. TSTC.

I’ve been dancing on elevated surfaces since my first recital. 18 years later, I still love it. TSM.

Philanthropy events are like the gym. You don’t want to go, but once you’re there, you feel pretty good about yourself. TSM.

“Every time we relate to a TSM, drink your moscato.” -how to finish a bottle of wine in five minutes. TSTC.

Worrying about the wage gap, not the thigh gap. TSM.