McDonald’s in Walmart, GDI. Starbucks in Target, TSM.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, make him rich and make him tall. TSM.

Frequent frustration over how to comfortably wear a headband and sunglasses at the same time. TSM.

If more females would sit down and be ladies, more males would stand up and be gentlemen. TSM.

“What should I say back to him?” TSM.

Headband Headache. TSM.

Only having your ears pierced. TSM.

“Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.” TSM.

I wear heels bigger than your penis. TSM.

I’m not a slampiece, I’m a take-home-to-meet-the-fam-piece. TSM.