“Oh, I’ve heard about you!” -Every new member upon meeting me. TSM.

It’s not that I CAN’T even. I just don’t want to. TSM.

“I’m not into exercise. If God wanted me to bend over he would put diamonds on the floor.” -Joan Rivers. TSM.

Taking a “personal day” off from class. TSM.

If you’re a slut, I’m a slut. TSTC.

Keep your friends close and your standards chair closer. TSM.

Taking care of your best friend’s little when she’s abroad. TSM.

Reminding your big it’s your job to keep her young when she tries to stay in. TSM.

Sneakers are for the gym. Flip flops are for the beach. Period. TSM.

We all have three iPhone keyboards: English, Greek, and Emoji. TSM.