Looking better for the breakup than you did for the first date. TSM.

“This is my jam right now.” TSM.

Pretending not to know his name when you actually know the names of his mom, his dog, and his last three girlfriends. TSM.

Either taking pictures within the first half hour of an event or not at all. TSM.

Do it for the ‘gram. TSM.

Coming up with the caption before you even take the picture. TSM.

Hobbies include drinking wine and judging people. TSM.

If he’s not old enough to be your dad, he’s not too old for you. TSTC.

Treating gyms like frat houses: you bounce around for the free trials, but never actually commit to one. TSM.

Deciding which underwear to wear based on who’s going to be there. TSM.