It’s not that I CAN’T even. I just don’t want to. TSM.

Having different letters for different seasons. TSM.

The Real Housewives of Frat Row. TSM.

Taking new members to Starbucks senior year, because you can’t remember their names. TSM.

Going back to school as a senior, ready to act like a freshman. TSM.

Recruitment photos spamming your news feeds. TSM.

Being the unofficial recruitment chair when the real one is crying in a corner. TSM.

Starting a new month of birth control so you’re not on your period during recruitment. TSM.

Judging girls during recruitment, then judging boys on Tinder during the breaks. TSM.

The automatic cheer that follows the sound of a champagne cork popping. TSM.