“Do you have any hot friends?”
“All my friends are hot.” TSM.

Moms’ Weekend turning your crazy, semi-alcoholic friends into wholesome girls you don’t even recognize. TSM.

Remembering the night by what you wore, not what you did. TSM.

Last one to get ready. First one to get drunk. TSM.

Sometimes, I wonder how all those drunk girls I’ve bonded with in bathrooms are doing. TSM.

“Is vodka a carb?” TSM.

“Drunk calories don’t count, right?”
“No, and drunk words don’t either.” TSM.

There is a special place in heaven for boys who understand the importance of asking you to formal in the most public and extravagant way possible. TSM.

Dressing like you’re in a sorority. Drinking like you’re in a fraternity. TSM.

“It ain’t my fault when I walk and jaws drop.” -Miranda Lambert. TSM.