Getting a bitch’s high from a perfectly passive aggressive subtweet. TSM.

He’s the kind of guy I would even for. TSM.

Always having a back-up plan, but never being one. TSM.

Being the senior that they both fear and aspire to be. TSM.

Where are my keys? Phone? Dignity? Whatever, best two out of three. TSM.

I shaved my legs for this. It better be worth it. TSM.

“If you don’t want to date me that’s fine, but you’re wrong and I hate you.”- Workaholics. TSM.

Stopping at Starbucks on your walk of shame. TSM.

“Does this outfit make me look like I’d make a good wife?” TSM.