I wasn’t wearing make- up today, but some GDI girl still asked what foundation I use. TSM.

Freshman 15? What’s that? TSM.

White trash party. I have nothing to wear. TSM.

Planning a seamless transition from living on Daddy’s money to living on my Frat Daddy’s money. TSM.

Buying American. TFM. Buying European. TSM. Buying Chinese. GDI

The creators of Crayola and Gatorade are members of my yacht club. TSM.

Stay at home moms. TSM.

Never having to open a door on campus. TSM.

Womens rights ruined everything. TSM.

On gamedays, I shotgun Nattys in $300 Lilly dresses and my grandmother’s pearls. TSM.