Always drinking either caffeine or alcohol depending on the occasion. TSM.

When your mascara is $23, there’s no time for crying. TSM.

Never letting a football game interrupt the tailgate. TSM.

Gym, Tan, Liquor. TSM.

Perusing Rowdy Gentleman to pick out your future shack shirts. TSM.

For richer or for poorer, but hopefully richer. TSM.

Asking for donations to both your sorority’s philanthropy and his fraternity’s philanthropy as your wedding gifts. TSM.

Not needing to worry about the Plan B “weight limit.” TSM.

Lipstick stains on the wine bag nozzle. TSM.

“Can you not?” TSM.