A guy’s fraternity’s ranking affecting his level of attractiveness. TSM.

Tanning is the best stress reliever. TSM.

Having an ultimate goal of being the matriarch of a perfect lineage when you’re a senior. TSM.

Planning while tanning. TSM.

Talking to your sister every time you see her on campus even though she’s a Rho Chi. TSM.

The baristas at Starbucks greeting you by name. TSM.

“She’s a nice girl, but I don’t see her in our letters.” TSM.

Drinking beer in cashmere. TSM.

I’m so glad that I’m not fat and ugly. TSM.

Beer with your shower. TFM. Wine with your bubble bath. TSM.