Double texts: I don’t send them I just get them. TSM.

I don’t send snapchats, I just get them. TSM.

How much does a sorority girl weigh? A monogram. TSM.

Carnations are the cargo shorts of flowers. TSM.

By “going on a diet” I mean “getting so drunk I forget to eat.” TSM.

Just say no to sweatpants. TSM.

If I didn’t already hate her, we’d probably make great friends. TSM.

Turning on read receipts so that he knows you’re ignoring him. TSM.

Knowing the fight is over when you’re using emojis again. TSM.

That “I just met my Little” moment. TSM.