Cheap beer, expensive, well, everything else. TSM.

Sending out a booty call in the late afternoon, because day drinking. TSM.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of alcohol. TSM.

Your boyfriend’s formal being more tame than yours. TSM.

Always getting hammered and occasionally getting nailed. TSM.

“Take a nap or take a shot!” TSM.

“ON YOUR KNEES, PLEDGE.” TFM. “…for a family lineage picture.” TSM.

“Can you send a pledge to dig out my car?” TSM.

Only dating finance majors. TSM.