Telling a guy you won’t go home with him, because you’re “too pretty to deal with whiskey dick.” TSM.

Verbalizing the word “hashtag” in your daily speech. TSM.

Having one hundred ways to say “Fuck you,” without ever saying “Fuck you.” TSM.

Feeling an extra boost of confidence when your bra and panties are your sorority’s colors. TSM.

I just want to drink wine and…drink wine. TSM.

Going to a fraternity date function with a guy you don’t like to improve relations with the guys you do like. TSM.

Being known as the “wild lineage.” TSM.

Slept over so I’d be his valentine by default. Sucker. TSM.

I’m celebrating Valenwine’s Day. TSM.

Designating a specific class to reading all the new TSM articles from the day. TSM.