Piss me off and I’ll put glitter in your AC vents. TSM.

Speaking at a fraternity chapter meeting and trying not to think about how many of them you’ve made out with. TSM.

I like my men well-raised and well-hazed. TSM.

Rocking sex hair at his philanthropy event. TSM.

Having the same feelings the night before Opening Day of Greek Week as you do on Christmas Eve. TSM.

I don’t believe in pre-nups, just like I don’t believe in returning shack shirts. TSM.

The best place to make Panhellenic friends is in a fraternity bathroom. TSM.

Your favorite fraternity adding you to their summer rush group on Facebook. TSM.

We’re best friends on Snapchat, so you could say we are pretty serious. TSM.

No one goes harder than ex-exec. TSM.