Feeling standards’ eyes burning through your soul when she talks about “inappropriate behavior.” TSM.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you were too drunk to remember it. TSM.

Considering putting on real clothes to be act of community service. TSM.

Teaching yourself an entire class the night before finals. TSM.

Taking his Adderall instead of a shirt during finals week. TSM.

Kinda going to miss freshman year, because I knew none of my hookups were younger than I am. TSM.

“Ugh, I am just so over frat guys.”
*Continues to hook up with frat guys.* TSM.