Using “My big says I can’t” as an excuse to get out of anything and everything. TSM.

Going to his formal with a cooler. Leaving with a composite. TSM.

Blue Ivy’s new gold sippy cup. TSM.

Every side is my good side. TSM.

Recruiting younger girls to be your prodigies once you graduate. TSM.

Logging your study hours while you’re on Pinterest. TSM.

Your DUI bail being set higher than Bieber’s. TSTC.

The girl you babysit calling your sorority “that wine-drinking club you’re in.” TSM.

My little and I have matching everything, even prescriptions! TSM.

Skipping chapter for happy hour. TSTC.