I understand the arguments I just have a hard time with this. I’m sure it’s the unpopular opinion but it I just don’t think this is rape. Did he coerce you a little? Yes he did. But he didn’t give you any reason to be afraid of him. You let him do it. You had the opportunity to walk away and you didn’t take it so I guess I just have a hard time seeing how you could throw a word like rape at this. I’m not denying that this is a horrible experience because something similar has happened to me as well. I do agree there is a lot of residual pain and regret. But I just don’t know… You never said “no,” or “stop.”
The only boyfriend I ever had lasted 6 months in high school and he treated me like absolute shit. I mean really I could’ve done without it. I just jumped to the first guy who showed any interest in me. And then after that I was perpetually single till 6 years later I met my current boyfriend.
I’ve had so many of the same thoughts as you and while I used to get so annoyed and totally thought love wasn’t in the cards for me, when it finally happened, I was ready. There’s no neediness from either one of us, we’re both independent types of people and honestly we just have a blast. I wouldn’t change things one bit. I’m not someone who defines myself based on whether or not I’m in a relationship and you shouldn’t be either. Awesome article.
I always worried so much about my “number,” yet my boyfriend has never asked me. And I certainly don’t care to know his. I guess it was no big deal after all.
It is so RUDE when guys tell you to smile, or ask you why you’re not smiling. That is high up on my pet peeve list. You’re not a bitch, you’re perfectly entitled to whatever the fuck expression you choose to make. Your face isn’t there to make irrelevant people feel good. I don’t know where some guys get the balls to say something like that to a woman.
Hate is a really strong word. I’d say my big and I aren’t close. She didn’t do her job and she dropped my organization. But I still respect her as a sister. I just turned her mistakes into learning opportunities and chose to be the best big and grand big I could. It all worked out in the end. I’m thankful for our struggles because I think in the end they really did contribute to a better Greek life experience.
Guys are so quick to slap the word “crazy” on a woman to make her the scapegoat for his nonsense. I would say that only a small fraction of women called crazy really are.
As a Tri Delta, this angers me. I’m angry that women who share my ritual acted that way, I’m angry that it drove a girl to actually leave our entire organization, I’m angry that she chose to handle this situation by putting her chapter and our organization on blast. Tri delta is not a racist organization. I have never met sorority women like the ones she described and I have been fortunate enough to have met Tri Deltas from all over the country.
I agree with you that I don’t think she handled this situation the right way. Putting them on blast like that really isn’t productively solving a problem. There are so many resources… We have field consultants, a highly involved executive office, university officials… So many other ways this could’ve been solved. Those sisters could’ve been terminated by Tri a Delta and the chapter president and university officials could’ve brought in education programs for the rest of the chapter.
People always handle these situations the wrong way. They either act like racism doesn’t exist, or they complain about it but don’t ever take action. Action is education. Action is having the hard conversations. It is choosing to be a leader in your chapter and channel your energy to fight for issues you are passionate about. This entire thing frustrates me to no end. I’m so sorry to people who have been hurt and offended by these girls’ obscene behavior.
I see your point and I appreciate that you used a real source instead of Cosmo. But my issue with this is that rape and forced sex are less about sexual attraction as they are about power.
However your last paragraph is something I agree with. I am firm and clear with my words to protect myself so that there is no misunderstandings. I don’t think it would be my fault if I was misunderstood but I also don’t think there is any harm in being as clear as possible.
It has nothing to do with being ashamed but of being humbled. You can be proud of your degree as you should, but you also have to realize that you are incredibly blessed. People who have to pay for everything else also didn’t choose that life. The least you could do is be considerate of people who have gone through incredible hardships and yet have still chosen to make their education a priority.
Just goes to show the power a few college women can have. Greek life is awesome.
I guess this is why guys never forget the whole anal sex thing. Our assholes are literally staring at them every time we get it on…
Sorry correction* the first time you didnt say no. I missed the parts later when you said that.
I understand the arguments I just have a hard time with this. I’m sure it’s the unpopular opinion but it I just don’t think this is rape. Did he coerce you a little? Yes he did. But he didn’t give you any reason to be afraid of him. You let him do it. You had the opportunity to walk away and you didn’t take it so I guess I just have a hard time seeing how you could throw a word like rape at this. I’m not denying that this is a horrible experience because something similar has happened to me as well. I do agree there is a lot of residual pain and regret. But I just don’t know… You never said “no,” or “stop.”
I’d never do this cause broke but I think that’s funny af
The only boyfriend I ever had lasted 6 months in high school and he treated me like absolute shit. I mean really I could’ve done without it. I just jumped to the first guy who showed any interest in me. And then after that I was perpetually single till 6 years later I met my current boyfriend.
I’ve had so many of the same thoughts as you and while I used to get so annoyed and totally thought love wasn’t in the cards for me, when it finally happened, I was ready. There’s no neediness from either one of us, we’re both independent types of people and honestly we just have a blast. I wouldn’t change things one bit. I’m not someone who defines myself based on whether or not I’m in a relationship and you shouldn’t be either. Awesome article.
I always worried so much about my “number,” yet my boyfriend has never asked me. And I certainly don’t care to know his. I guess it was no big deal after all.
Why do girls always treat their “gay best friend” like a prop?
Sounds like my man. And I can assure you, he gets laid alright.
It is so RUDE when guys tell you to smile, or ask you why you’re not smiling. That is high up on my pet peeve list. You’re not a bitch, you’re perfectly entitled to whatever the fuck expression you choose to make. Your face isn’t there to make irrelevant people feel good. I don’t know where some guys get the balls to say something like that to a woman.
I think your response is awesome and I 100% agree with everything you said.
Hate is a really strong word. I’d say my big and I aren’t close. She didn’t do her job and she dropped my organization. But I still respect her as a sister. I just turned her mistakes into learning opportunities and chose to be the best big and grand big I could. It all worked out in the end. I’m thankful for our struggles because I think in the end they really did contribute to a better Greek life experience.
That wasn’t funny
That woman is severely mentally ill…
Nope
Guys are so quick to slap the word “crazy” on a woman to make her the scapegoat for his nonsense. I would say that only a small fraction of women called crazy really are.
“The orgasm that got away,” I’m in tears. I’ve never heard a truer/more painful statement.
As a Tri Delta, this angers me. I’m angry that women who share my ritual acted that way, I’m angry that it drove a girl to actually leave our entire organization, I’m angry that she chose to handle this situation by putting her chapter and our organization on blast. Tri delta is not a racist organization. I have never met sorority women like the ones she described and I have been fortunate enough to have met Tri Deltas from all over the country.
I agree with you that I don’t think she handled this situation the right way. Putting them on blast like that really isn’t productively solving a problem. There are so many resources… We have field consultants, a highly involved executive office, university officials… So many other ways this could’ve been solved. Those sisters could’ve been terminated by Tri a Delta and the chapter president and university officials could’ve brought in education programs for the rest of the chapter.
People always handle these situations the wrong way. They either act like racism doesn’t exist, or they complain about it but don’t ever take action. Action is education. Action is having the hard conversations. It is choosing to be a leader in your chapter and channel your energy to fight for issues you are passionate about. This entire thing frustrates me to no end. I’m so sorry to people who have been hurt and offended by these girls’ obscene behavior.
I see your point and I appreciate that you used a real source instead of Cosmo. But my issue with this is that rape and forced sex are less about sexual attraction as they are about power.
However your last paragraph is something I agree with. I am firm and clear with my words to protect myself so that there is no misunderstandings. I don’t think it would be my fault if I was misunderstood but I also don’t think there is any harm in being as clear as possible.
It has nothing to do with being ashamed but of being humbled. You can be proud of your degree as you should, but you also have to realize that you are incredibly blessed. People who have to pay for everything else also didn’t choose that life. The least you could do is be considerate of people who have gone through incredible hardships and yet have still chosen to make their education a priority.